“A submarine has gone missing” : Oh jeeze, I hope they find those people.
“A submarine visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Well, that’s a little ghoulish but I can’t blame folks for a morbid curiosity, especially at a monument to white man’s hubris.
“An experimental cobbled together submarine visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Well at this point y'all were just taking your lives into your own hands and also how is ‘slapped together submarine’ a legal thing that’s real.
“An experimental cobbled together submarine full of the absurdly wealthy visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Okay now this just feels a little too on point someone has to be joking with me.
buying kewpie mayo sucks because its so much more expesnive than regular mayo but its also so much better and has like the perfect flavour profile to compliment basically anything you cook. so now your stuck replacing your daily mayo usage with an already much more expensive product and youre finding even more ways to use it your putting it on the fries your brought home,, and on your breakfast sandwhich in the morning, and you mix it into your tuna salad and you dip your grilled cheese in it because its starting to take the place of ketchup in your life too but its so good you cant help yourself you need t eat more of it. so you keep buying the kewpie and putting it in more stuff, your replacing the sour cream in your burrito with kewpie, the yogurt in your lentil curry with kewpie. you never liked mayo or ketchup on eggs but now you cant even have an egg sunny side up without a little drizzle of kewpie on top to make it taste right. its consumed, you completely, and you already have to go to the store tomorrow to buy another bottle. shameful
y'all are absolutely free to use tumblr however you please but I want redditors to know that they could, hypothetically, start a sideblog about a particular topic, add moderators to it, turn on submissions (and asks), make an “about” page laying out rules and such, and create a good tagging system. If you want it to be a bit more familiar.
[photo id: tags that say #enrichment in their new enclosure as to keep them healthy and ready if they need to be re-released back to their natural habitat]
This is terrible but today when I was playing volleyball outside with some friends one of their children (18 months) was sort of ambling around on his stumpy little toddler legs and so we were all trying to be careful and like not spike the ball onto the baby but then he wandered over to his father, who picked him up bc dad reflexes, and then the ball got passed over to the dad and he sort of had a no thoughts moment and instinctively used his child to smack the volleyball over to the next person. Like he just swung the kid and used his legs like a baseball bat. I’m never going to forget his face of premature regret mid baby-manuever right when he realized what he was doing AND the instant he realized his wife saw it happen. Anyway the baby was fine he didn’t make contact with the ball all that hard and he was just mad his dad wouldn’t use him as a club again but I had to sit down because I laughed so hard I cried.
Gosh I just love book Legolas. He’s immortal. He’s a teenager. Elrond picks him instead of Glorfindel because he’s average and won’t draw attention to the Fellowship. He’s the comic relief guy and resident Little Shit, but he can also shoot a Nazgul out of the sky in the pitch black like a one-man elf anti-aircraft defense system. He wants everyone to know that he’s, like, really old. He forgets the task at hand because he wants to look at trees. His greatest qualities are that he can become friends with anyone and his loyalty is unending. He shows up to Valinor a century late with Starbucks in hand and his dwarf bestie at his side. Iconic.
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